I was flipping through old photos, looking at all the past countries, cultures, and crowds I've come to know and experience in this short, little life of mine.
I eventually came to the famous photo of my family when we first moved to China.
"July 2004 Changchun," it read, with our smiling faces but eventually wearied hearts.
There's so much you don't know.
With you in the back of my mind, where you usually are,
and with you in the reflection of my laptop's black borders,
where you usually sit in class, I had a small realization.
Eventually, you're going to end up being a single page in a short chapter of my crazy eventful life.
I have so many more countries to go to, so much more missionary work to accomplish.
My background is always changing; my people are always changing.
You came quickly into the picture, but just as quickly as you walked into this short chapter, you're going to walk away.
We're just two really different people who came from really different worlds and are called to really different futures ... and I've been smitten by someone so different.
I have no sappy love poems, no romantic dreams—just a longing for you to take on a bigger role in my life.
I once thought to myself: "I just wish he were here with me right now. Is that too much to ask for?"
And yes, actually, the answer is yes—it is too much to ask for.
I think—I think I just need to meet her. I just need to see her perfect hair, her perfect smile, and her perfect character. I need to see you look at her in the way you will never look at me.
I need to see you happy with her.
Maybe then, I will be able to thoroughly let this selfish desire go.
I know he is not going to be you, but I'm desperately hoping he is someone like you.
Knowing you has made me raise my standards and love my brothers more.
You are amazing.
And I thank God for you.
