I've come a long way...
I turn around, look back, and stand in awe of who I used to be.
I've come a long way, but which direction did I take?
Growing up with A Beka and GLCC,
I was groomed to be stiff and conservative.
Spending three months without my parents in CCBC,
I swayed to the liberal side and loosened myself.
To be honest-- to be perfectly honest-- I don't even know what I'm doing anymore.
All I know is this:
My devotional life is in a mess, and as long as it stays in this state, I'm never going to get anywhere in life.
Either I fix it now by His grace, or He bears it no more to see me stray and consequently take me home.
I don't want to leave, God.
I want to do Your will... I want to stay here and glorify You, make You look good!
I want to be that cleansed vessel, trophy of grace, turning sinners to Your redeeming gaze.
Daddy, I'm sorry; will You please fix me?
I'm that prodigal son, that harlot, that disobeying nation--I'm everything filthy mentioned in Your Word.
I am exactly what You said I am.
By Your grace, I see that, Lord.
By Your mercy, I breathe, Father.
And by Your love, I am made eternal.
By Your love, I live.
I'm broken.
I'm ashamed.
But I'm here.
Fix me I pray.
regret,
Starry
