就算他真的喜欢上我，
我们也是不可能在一起的啊。
And just thinking about him makes me shrink...
Like look at him:
I bet so many girls are head over heels over him.
He's older than I; he has a uni life.
I have no life; I have no friends.
And even if I believe he's mature enough to not like a non-believer,
he wouldn't choose me.
I don't attend a CG, remember?!
He leads one.
I am socially impaired, remember?!
He goes out for lunch with one girl.
I'm not pretty, remember...
All these thoughts are so worldly, so selfish.
It's all about me! It's all about me!
It's not about God!
My security is in boys! Not Christ!
The temptation to say "YES. I like him." is so strong...
But I will never do it. How can I?
Look at my life and look at what God has done for me.
Look at what He's doing for me!
Look at who He is and look at what He's given me.
I'm speechless, and I will never leave.
Especially not for a boy whose character I only have hunches about!
What was I thinking?!
Look at God. Then look at him.
How could I even THINK about leaving my God and going to him?!
I barely know him; I know my God!
He doesn't love me; my Savior DIED for me!
LOOK.
LOOK AT GOD. LOOK AT THE CROSS.
And if even after that you still say you want to leave?!
Then you're crazy. You're illogical. You're despicable.
rain,
Starry
