A Subway Lunch

With mindful thoughts and thoughtless minds, I let

My patience runs its course throughout the meal. 

My senses hype and feel each lash's bat. 

My being's fretting: "this cannot be real!" 

One flash flies forth before my very eyes; 

It shows my pray'rs arising to my King. 

My faith leaps up as high as to the skies;

"In Him," it cried, "I can do anything!" 

Yet here I am still sitting, praying hard-

Yet here I am still lifeless, boring, grey- 

Yet here I am still faithful, badly scarred- 

And here I am refusing not to pray. 

Like first bird's flight, the awkward meal goes on 

While silence chats ahead of every tongue. 

Before I know, all friendliness have gone. 

Before I know, the last song has been sung. 

His ways run so much higher than my ways. 

His thoughts I know that I will never know. 

With peace inside, I stand to give Him praise, 

For better things await when God says "no."

smelling babies

Why do babies smell so good?! 

Ugh. 

Smell of babies. 

Why. 

Good. 

weirdo, 

Starry

my Leader

God has led us thus far. 

He has led us to this. 

I will not fear; I will not fret. 

I will not complain: 

I have a perfect Leader. How can I? 

comfort, 

Starry 

i walked up

I walked up to the seventh floor. 

What was I expecting?! 

You? Waiting for me as if I'm some important person?! 

Or you. Reverting back into the way you once were with me? 

When I said I miss the seventh floor, I meant so much more than just spending time with you. 

Yes. Yes, I do miss spending time with you, but I miss the way you were even more. 

I wish- 

I wish we could go back to that relationship we once had. 

Just. 

Friends with Christ's sacrificial love for each other with a hundred percent dependence on who God is and what the gospel stands for. 

I don't know- 

I don't know how you feel or how you are right now, but I- 

I will always be here. 

For you. 

For God. 

seven, 

Starry 

you are rare

Are godly guys really that rare?
Why do I find myself always instantly crushing on the first one I see?!

uugggghhhhghghghggggguuuugghhhhh

Hi.
...
...
...

And then I get super awkward around this poor boy who has NO IDEA that I am dying inside because of who he is in Him.

Okay. Starry.
LISTEN UP:
HE IS NOT THE ONE. LIKE DUH.

There is a man who is perfect for you because God is the designer.
There is a man who loves God with such a passion that he will love you as Christ did the church.
There is a man whom God has chosen for you and especially for you.
And he will be godly. And he will love you—not for who you are, but for who God is.
And your paths will meet in God's timing, and your hearts will melt in God's timing.
And TWO will become ONE in God's timing.

AND GOD—the Father of THE BOTH OF YOU—
GOD will be the center of your relationship. 
And THAT is what really matters. 

So yes. So maybe godly guys are really rare. So maybe godly guys make me melt.
But if it isn't in God's timing, and if it isn't in God's plan for me,
I'll say no.
Thanks.
But no.

clarity,
Starry

The Difference

Now saved, his soul stands high with Him above,

And joy was shared in heaven for this sheep.

He’s now anew in the Good Shepherd’s love;

He’s now a cause for heaven’s bliss so deep.

Rejoicing ran to spread from plain to plain

In many mansions and on rivers pure.

And shedding tears like golden drops of rain,

The host of heaven seals his soul secure.

But what delight do people near him claim?

Their thorny hearts are stained with nonchalance.

Like pumping blood out, everything’s the same;

Like dying child, there is not one response.

Still, people pull down blinds and cannot see

How beautiful his feet may one day be! 

it only took one

You fell. You fell and you dragged him down with you.
One day, you're going to look back.
And you'll realize that
it
all
started

with one word:

angel, 
Starry

fool i'm a fool

I thought-
I thought I was reaching him.
I thought God was using me to help him.
I thought he was improving- GROWING.

Well.

What a fool I was.

What a FOOL I was!

WHAT A FOOL I WAS!

Forget it! Don't tell me how much you love me or how much you love God.
I'm done.

mentor, 
Starry

now i truly know

I know. 

I know the godly will often be despised. 

I know the godly will often be misunderstood. 

I've seen my parents under attack way too many times. 

I've heard my teacher preach way too many times. 

But why?

Why didn't I KNOW? 

You told me, Father. You warned me. 

You didn't let me go through this without a warning, and You're not letting me go through this alone. 

You've taken the spiritual comfort I used to find in my sister away from me, and You're making me focus on You and only You. You're making me depend on You... 

Well, Lord. Here I am. 

I've come to take your yoke. I've come to rest in You. 

I want only You. 

burdens, 

Starry