Wow, what do I say? Where should I start from?
How could you do that? How can you do that?
I don't understand; is there not ANYTHING-
AT ALL—
IN YOU—
THAT SAYS:
NO.
NO.
I will NOT do this! I will NOT put myself in the way of danger! I will NOT put myself in front of God! And I will NOT put myself in front of His people!
Is there nothing like that?
Is there really nothing in you?
Why?
I don't understand... Why?
Why—
Why do I keep having stupidly high expectations of people?
Why do I keep getting discouraged by people whom I know are sinful?
Why am I looking at them as if God Himself told me that I would find spiritual rest in them?
He never told me that... My Father never told me that.
He simply told me to go,
and I did.
I obeyed,
and I went.
And now He has called me to go through this...
And SINCE He has called me so, He will give me grace, power, and strength to carry through.
Why?
I still keep asking why...
love,
Starry
